Clone Sex Is The Best Sex
by axisofsymmetry
Summary: What happens when evil scientist Blaine creates a clone of Jeff? M for sex.


Cue maniacal laughter.

"_It is ALIVE!_"

* * *

><p>"You did <em>what<em>?" Wes asked shrilly.

"Well, Jeff has strep throat and we needed another member—" Blaine tried to explain, shifting nervously on the spot.

"No, Blaine, that's why we hold auditions, not—" he lowered his voice. "Not your crazy experiments. I've told you multiple times that you can't do that on Dalton property, and you really _shouldn't_ anywhere else!"

Blaine leaned against the table at the front of the Senior Commons, where the Warblers usually gathered. Wes was glaring at him, arms crossed, while David was standing at the door to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

"Wes, I'm an evil scientist. You can't seriously expect me to stop doing evil experiments. Which, by the way, aren't always evil. It worked, if you were at all curious."

"Then you should have done something less drastic—what do you mean, it worked?" Wes narrowed his eyes warily.

Blaine just grinned. "Come see. You too, David."

* * *

><p>Blaine's room was empty when they got to it. "Shit."<p>

"Wow, Blaine," Wes said, clearly unimpressed. "Nothing matches your work."

"No, shit, he was right here." Blaine got on the floor and checked under the bed, then poked his head out the window. "I told him to stay put!" He raced out of the room with an annoyed Wes and a highly amused David following him.

* * *

><p>They found him in Jeff's room ten minutes later.<p>

Which was just completely strange.

They were staring at each other.

Jeff and Jeff, that is.

"So why is it that this guy looks exactly like me and says his name is Jeff?" Jeff, the fully clothed one, asked, turning his gaze from the other Jeff, the one in white boxers only, to Blaine.

"Um..." Blaine was unsure what to say.

"He cloned you," Wes said simply, stepping into the room.

"When did you get his DNA?" Nearly-naked Jeff asked, looking over fully-clothed Jeff with curiosity.

"Why are you not more freaked out?" David asked.

"I always kinda figured Blaine was an evil scientist," Clothed Jeff said simply, and started studying Naked Jeff with the same interest his clone had.

"Yeah, me too..." Naked Jeff said. "Wait...I think? It's kind of confusing since I'm Jeff and he's also Jeff and I have all his memories except now I remember things in Blaine's room...Do I really have a mole there?" He poked at Clothed Jeff's neck.

"Where?" Clothed Jeff started touching his own neck.

"Are you...not curious at all as to why Blaine cloned you?" Wes asked, a little surprised.

"I assume it's because I'm sexy and the world needs more Jeff," Naked Jeff said. "Or were you supposed to answer that, Jeff?"

"I would've answered the same," Clothed Jeff said.

"I know." Naked Jeff scooted closer and started touching Clothed Jeff's hair curiously. "Wow, my hair is awesome!"

"I know!" Clothed Jeff agreed, with more excitement, and his gaze went down to Naked Jeff's torso studiously. "I've never seen myself from this angle. I look pretty good."

"I know!" Naked Jeff agreed, with even _more_ excitement.

"This is...so weird," David wheezed through his silent laughter.

"Well, no, that's not why I did it," Blaine said, finally finding his voice again. "You have strep throat and we need your voice."

Both Jeffs stared. Clothed Jeff spoke. "You know I'll be fully functional in a week, right? You're too impatient to wait a week? Huh? Huh, King Blaine?"

Wes rolled his eyes. "_Obviously_ he did it because he's an experiment junkie and this was the perfect excuse. Blaine, you need to reverse this."

"Whoa, let's not get ahead of ourselves," Clothed Jeff said immediately. "This isn't completely bad. We can make this work."

"Jeff, you have an illegitimate twin with your name. There's no way to work around this."

"I dunno," David said thoughtfully, or as thoughtfully as he could with that huge smile on his face. "It wouldn't be a disadvantage to have another Jeff-like voice—not to mention dance moves—in the Warblers."

"Is winning so important to you?" Wes snapped.

"No," David said smugly. "But it is to you."

"Well—I—still, we can't keep him."

"So figure something out," Naked Jeff said, tired of them arguing about him like he wasn't there. "I'll stay with me until you blockheads make a decision. Because I can tell already it's gonna take more than a few minutes."

Blaine nodded. "He's right. We can't just argue about this in the hallways. Anyone can hear us. Let's sleep on it, and regroup tomorrow so we can figure out what to do."

"Agreed," Wes said, and David nodded. "Have a good night, Jeff. And...Jeff." He ushered the other two out of the room and closed the door behind him.

"_Finally_," Both Jeffs said in unison, flailing their arms in exactly the same way; they immediately started giggling.

"This is so weird," Naked Jeff said.

"I know. Hey, would you stand up for a minute?"

"Sure. Why, you wanna see what you look like?" Naked Jeff stood up and turned around slowly.

"Yeah." Clothed Jeff stood up as well, to get a better view. "Wow, I have a great ass."

"Do I?" Naked Jeff tried to look at his own buttocks. "Take off your clothes; I wanna see how great my ass is."

Clothed Jeff complied immediately, and stripped himself of the pajamas he'd been wearing for days, down to his dark boxers.

"Wow, my ass _is_ great! So now that we're both mostly naked, we can't be Naked Jeff and Clothed Jeff anymore."

"I know!" Dark Boxers Jeff said. "But we can't be White Boxers Jeff and Dark Boxers Jeff. And I don't like Jeff and Clone Jeff."

"Actually, that should be alphabetical."

"But anyway," Jeff said, ignoring Jeff. "We should think about this." They sat beside each other on the edge of the bed.

"Hot Jeff and Hot Jeff?"

They thought about it for another minute, both of them resting their chins in their hands. Jeff's eyes widened and Jeff's did the same. They looked at each other with bright smiles.

"JEFF AND JEFFIE!"

"I'll be Jeff because I'm older—I mean, you're technically still a baby."

"Actually, with the amount of time I've been alive, I'm more like a fetus. But yes, this is perfect!"

They hugged each other and jumped up and down excitedly for a good minute and a half. When they finally tired themselves out, they fell onto the bed, arms still around each other.

They both moved at the same time, meeting in the middle to share a soft kiss. They both turned away with pink faces and awkward giggles.

"I've always wondered what it would be like to kiss myself," Jeff said.

"I know," Jeffie responded. "It's like...weird...but in a cool way." There was a pause. "Ever wonder what it's like to fuck yourself?"

"Only _always_," Jeff said, rolling his eyes as if it was obvious. He turned back to Jeffie. "Flip a coin for who goes first?"

* * *

><p>Jeff won that battle; he decided that he would be topping. And once they figured that out, they both moved in with another tentative kiss. Their movements were gentle at first, and, since they were the same person, they mirrored each other exactly. Each had a hand in the other's hair and on the small of their backs.<p>

And since they were the same person, they both went further at the same moment. Jeff opened his mouth against Jeffie's, and their tongues slid across each other's. They let out identical moans and moved closer, so that their chests were pressed together, bare skin against bare skin.

"This is like the hottest thing I've ever been a part of," Jeff breathed when he moved away from Jeffie's lips to kiss at his neck.

"I know," Jeffie said, wrapping his arms around Jeff's shoulders. "I never realized how soft my skin is...or yours, rather. Both of ours..." He broke off on a moan when Jeff bit harshly at his neck, which only led Jeff to bite again. He licked at the spot soothingly and continued to kiss along Jeffie's neck.

Jeffie put his hands to Jeff's face and pulled him up to kiss him on the lips once again. Jeff groaned and let his tongue explore Jeffie's mouth thoroughly. Jeffie let his hands trail down to Jeff's waist and past it, to his buttocks; he pressed Jeff's pelvis forward to meet his own, and they both moaned at the friction to their hard cocks. "Totally hot," Jeffie gasped.

Jeff climbed on top of Jeffie without breaking the kiss. He moved slowly, thrusting against Jeffie until they were both breathless. "We need to get out of our boxers," Jeff said; Jeffie's hands were at the waistband of the dark boxers before Jeff even managed to get out his whole sentence. He managed to get them halfway down Jeff's thighs before his arms were literally straining to go further. Fortunately Jeff picked up the slack and with one hand pulled them the rest of the way off. They flew somewhere across the room and then his fingers were on Jeffie's boxers, pulling at the band. Jeffie lifted up his hips to help and in moments those were across the room as well.

"Where'd you get the boxers, anyway?" Jeff asked, returning his lips to Jeffie's neck.

"Blaine. They weren't his; he pulled them out of a new pack of underwear." Jeffie impatiently pressed his hands down on Jeff's ass once again, and Jeff complied, pressing their hips together. Jeff let out a low moan and Jeffie let out a high keen at the friction of their cocks against each other. They were immediately moving against each other again, letting out pleasured sounds every few moments, silken skin against identical silken skin.

"I'm getting close," Jeffie whined after a few moments of glorious friction. His breath was coming in gasps, as was Jeff's. "Me, too. We haven't even gotten to the fun part." It took a massive amount of effort to pull away, but that's exactly what he did. Jeffie followed with his hips for a moment before letting his body relax into the bed while he waited for Jeff to return. Jeff reached out to the bedside table and opened the drawer in search of lubricant and a condom. He found a condom.

"We moved the lube to your dresser, remember?" Jeffie said.

"Right." Jeff tossed the condom at Jeffie, who caught it nimbly, and got up to retrieve the bottle from the bottom drawer of his dresser. "Because Thad's apparently always horny and runs out of lube faster than lightning can strike." He bent over, giving Jeffie a wonderful view of his ass, and moved aside all the clothing. The bottle was at the very back and he grabbed it quickly, then straightened up and turned around, intent on getting back to the bed. He smirked at the hungry expression on Jeffie's face. "We are pretty hot, aren't we?"

"You have no idea how hot we are," Jeffie responded, pressing his lips to Jeff's the moment he was back on the bed.

"Let's make it a little hotter, then." He popped the cap on the bottle of lubricant and squeezed a liberal amount onto his fingers. He directed his hand down, down to Jeffie's entrance and coated the sensitive skin in the liquid before pressing one finger in just slowly enough that Jeffie could adjust.

"Oh, that feels amazing," Jeffie gasped, and pressed against Jeff's finger to take it in further. "Another."

Jeff complied, and pressed another finger into Jeffie, who let out a loud moan. "Shh, our neighbors will hear," Jeff scolded lightly, moving his fingers inside Jeffie at different angles to find that one spot.

Jeffie let out another moan, even louder than the last, and at a decibel that surely only dogs could hear. "I don't care," he gasped, "and you don't either."

"Not with you looking like that," Jeff said with a smirk that he could make himself feel so good without even trying. "Another?" Jeffie nodded. How could he deny himself what he so clearly wanted? Jeff pressed in another finger, this time much slower. Jeffie took a few moments to relax around Jeff's fingers, and Jeff took that as the signal to move, which he did. He thrust his fingers shallowly, making sure to hit Jeffie's prostate every now and then, just to hear those wonderful moans out of his mouth.

" 'M ready, Jeff," Jeffie managed to gasp after another well-aimed hit to his prostate. Jeff pulled out his fingers, and took the proffered condom from Jeffie's outstretched fingers; it was already opened, God bless himself for being so considerate. He slipped it on quickly and opened the bottle of lube again, coating his cock in it until he was satisfied; he tossed the bottle aside, as it was now unneeded, and positioned himself at Jeffie's entrance. Jeff pressed in slowly, just to tease himself; he knew Jeffie could take all of him, but it was way more fun to see his own face impatient and needy.

"Fuck, Jeff, c'mon. More," Jeffie whined.

Jeff only teased for a few more moments before pushing in all the way. Jeffie arched under him, giving Jeff the chance to dip his hands below Jeffie's body and press them flat to his back. "Oh God, that's good," Jeffie moaned loudly.

"So good," Jeff agreed, pausing momentarily to allow Jeffie a moment to adjust. When he was certain he'd given enough time, he started to move slightly, changing his angle at every very shallow thrust until Jeffie moaned below him and all the muscles within him moved, squeezing at Jeff's cock deliciously.

Now knowing exactly where to hit, Jeff started to move more, pulling back an inch and pressing back in. Jeffie squirmed below him, gasping and moaning with every thrust. "More, Jeff," he begged. "Harder." Jeff complied, pushing into Jeffie with more force. He reached between them and took Jeffie's cock in his hands, and started tugging it in time with his thrusts. The sounds of sex were filling the room; the gentle slap of skin against skin, the harsh breathing of two teenage boys, punctuated with moans every few moments.

"Getting close yet?" Jeff asked, still moving his hand up and down Jeffie's cock. Jeffie responded with a whine, making Jeff chuckle. "I'll take that as a yes?" He started to move faster, pounding into Jeffie as hard as he could. Jeffie's hands ran up and down his back, gripping at him every few inches for a few moments before moving onto a new spot. It was taking all of Jeff's willpower not to just come right at that moment with his cock inside himself and his cock in his hand and his nails in his back.

And then Jeffie was coming, arching up into Jeff, staring into his own eyes as the white hot liquid spurted between them. Jeff continued moving, both with his hand and his hips, using Jeffie's come as lubricant on his dick as he rode out his orgasm. Within moments Jeff went over the edge as well, his orgasm washing over him so strongly that he could drown in the pleasure. He continued to thrust shallowly for a few moments, with Jeffie letting out whining sounds below him, before the exhaustion crept in and he pulled out of Jeffie to collapse beside him.

"Fifteen minutes," he said through his labored breaths, "and then you're on top."

* * *

><p>They walked down the hall hand-in-hand the next morning, in identical uniforms with identically styled hair and identical grins on their identical faces. They were walking around early enough that most people weren't even awake yet.<p>

Although Wes was, of course. He stopped them in the middle of the hallway.

"No. Absolutely not. I will not allow this." He stared at them both, pointing a finger between them. "You." The one on the left (or Wes' left at least). "Go back to Blaine, we're getting rid of you."

Their smiles grew wider. "Sure," the Jeff on the left said. "That is, if you're sure I'm the clone."

Wes stared at him, and moved his gaze to the Jeff on the right. His eyes narrowed and he looked between them once again. "As soon as I find out which of you doesn't belong, I'm getting rid of him."

Both Jeffs simply smiled and continued their walk down the hall, intent on eating a large breakfast after their escapades the previous night.

"Hey Jeffie, wanna pose as my twin with the same name but different spellings?" Jeff said, leaning in and whispering to Jeffie as they walked away from a fuming Wes.

"Of _course_! And then I can enroll here and it totally won't be weird!"

"_Exactly_!" Jeff jumped up and down excitedly. "This is gonna be completely awesome."

END.


End file.
